What info do we collect?
Not much, to be honest. If you’re kind enough to click on “Contact,” we’ll devour juicy, paparazzi-worthy details like your full name and, should you be feeling charitable, your email.
Of course, you’re free to stalk around the site totally anonymous. Not creepy, and totally within your right.
What do we use your info for?
Mostly, to be polite. We prefer to use your given name than “DEAR VALUED GUEST” as that’s a salutation best left to shady tourism boards. And cults.
So, yeah, we might send you an email or two in the future because we’re nostalgic like that. They’ll arrive infrequently like that one uncle you have, but smelling of less booze, and exist merely to update you on what we’ve up to. We promise to include cool images with those sentences because we know after reading this beast, you’ll be done with us and our words for a while.
How do we protect your info?
We implement a variety of security measures (cats, ninja stars, cats that can throw ninja stars) to maintain the safety of your data when entering or submitting personal information. After a transaction, your private information will not be stored on our servers. We’re sorta clean freaks like that.
The flour and sugar kind? Hell yes! We gobble them up, trade them as currency, throw hardened ones at particularly annoying street musicians from the company balcony.
As for the cookies that are small files that sites transfer to your computer’s hard drive through your Web browser, we totally use those too. Just a couple. They enable this pretty site to recognize your browser and capture and remember certain information. Like how much we love you! But also what you’ve done/seen/experienced on prior visits. That just helps us calibrate things and streamline your experience — no more, no less.
Do we disclose any info to outside parties?
No. Never. We’re offended you’d even think that, considering how well we’ve been getting along.
Rest assured, we do not sell, trade, or otherwise transfer to outside parties your personally identifiable information. This does not include trusted third parties who assist us in operating our website, conducting our business, or servicing you, so long as those parties agree to keep this information confidential. We may also release your information when we believe release is appropriate to comply with the law, enforce our site policies, or protect ours or others’ rights, property, or safety. However, non-personally identifiable visitor information may be provided to other parties for marketing, advertising, or other uses.
Third party links
Occasionally, at our discretion, we may include or offer third party products or services on our website. This will likely include cats. Cute ones. These third party sites have separate and independent privacy policies, so please don’t judge us on those. We have no responsibility or liability for the content and activities of these linked sites but because we care, we will of course welcome any feedback on them. Because what is the internet, if not full of integrity?
California Online Privacy Protection Act Compliance
Because we value your privacy, we have taken the necessary precautions to be in compliance with the California Online Privacy Protection Act. We therefore will not distribute your personal information to outside parties without your consent.
Childrens Online Privacy Protection Act Compliance
We are in compliance with the requirements of COPPA (Childrens Online Privacy Protection Act), meaning we do not collect any information from anyone under 13 years of age. Our website, products and services are all directed to people who are at least 13 years old or older. That number might be closer to 21+ but whatever, our lawyers are clearly focused on bigger clients.